Yes You Are Too Tired To Go Again
In one of our twice monthly LeanMind meets, one person, a successful founder, wondered aloud “do I have the energy to do it all again?’.
Well, yes, I’d say, but not as you think.
Let's make a story.
Once Upon A Time
A few years back I did a course in writing, led by Bernadette Jiwa. She tells her five part story structure, the 5 C’s:
Context: The backstory. This section introduces the hero's world and their status quo before the main events unfold.
Catalyst: The event. Something happens to disrupt the hero's world and set the story in motion.
Complication: The obstacle. The hero faces a problem or challenge and must make a choice about how to proceed.
Change: The transformation. The hero decides on a path and a plan to overcome the obstacle.
Consequence: The result. This part of the story shows the outcome of the hero's actions and the ultimate impact of the journey.
So what of this for you, here and now, wondering if you’ve the energy to go again (vs retreat to the bull rushes of your fading life, to lick your wounds and eat leaves)?
Well, the story doesn’t start there. it starts back in the day.
You’ve made this thing. You’ve climbed near top of its tree. Like you’ve always done, pulling out the stops, being the last man, making shit happen. All on you. Without you, then what? This the fruit of the hard working, right thinking doer. You.
And in there, as with everyone, some struggle. Some fight. Not least the idiots on the path, blocking the way - not quite getting it or you, not appreciating what you’ve done or how, not seeing what this could be.
All this, creating many 'to stay or go' moments.
In the main, you stay. You fight. You chase. You work hard.
Because if not you, who? And that's what you do.
This is you - good - fighting the idiots - the dark forces - who don’t care, or get it, and lack the vision to keep the spirit alive.
Before we go there, a little diversion.
If this was Disney, you’d win the battle, and defeat the dark forces of greed, delusion and self interest.
But this isn’t Disney. it’s your life. And I have bad news….
This is not a war you’ll win.
You’ll lose.
Defeat.
And be cast away from the company you’ve created, or the team you lead.
Ouch.
Which brings us back to another choice moment.
Stay and fight?
vs
Wither or die, retreating into a half life, old Buffalo?
To fight or die, this isn’t the question.
Maybe there’s a third way?
You’re right, you are too tired to go again. And neither should you.
Firstly, hail the sacred pause. God, or whatever driving this particular bus, we’re told, prescribed a seventh day - for rest. Can’t keep going for ever, for heavens sake.
Recharge those batteries, let the soil replenish and then see…
And….more importantly.
That battle with the dark forces was never one to win. They were, in fact, sent to release you, to remind you to something bigger, more fruitful, joyful and richer in real opportunity.
Embrace The Great Death Rebirth
There’s a great book on midlife, The Middle Passage. Because midlife is a passage. A slow, undoubted change - albeit one many choose to ignore.
And in this passage, what’s really happening?
A great death rebirth, that’s what.
There’s a slow dying - all the ideas, habits and stories which shaped your early years grand adventure, and in turn have shaped your current great creations.
In the main, these ideas, habits and stories are gifted you by family and culture at large.
Willing these stories out into the world, building your cathedrals to someone else’s story, is tiring.
The invitation now is to something else.
Meet Your Imaginal Cells
Scientists tell us that rooted deep into the caterpillar are what’s called Imaginal Cells. These the caterpillar knowing how to grow wings and fly. They operate free within the soup, ready to work when the time is called. When the caterpillar enters the cocoon. And so with midlife.
Buried in you are your imaginal cells; the waymarkers to a life of your making, creations and cathedrals of your envisioning. finding and activating these requires a darkness, a cocoon, and a slow and steady revealing and shedding of the stories, ideas and habits of your old life. So the new might be born.
We’re reminded here back to that chapter in the Dao de Ching:
In the pursuit of knowledge, add one thing everyday.
In the practise of wisdom, subtract one thing everyday.
Wisdom is your imaginal cells. Wisdom is you doing the work your heart wishes to do
Wisdom is the work of the Gods, your eccentricities, looking to play out.
Wisdom is knowing and working to values which drive you. Be it
love
beauty
power
abundance
truth
justice
goodness
wholeness
In short, a purpose important to you, in service of something bigger.
And in this wisdom, with the old ways cut away, you are left only with energy, vigour and vitality.
To do or not to do is no longer the question.
With this purity of spirit, just watch them stop you.
But first, just maybe, a rest and a recharge.
And a container of wisdom, learning and good hope. And for this, LeanMind.
And to your purpose, value or values... which of the above list speaks most loudly to you?
Let me know. I'd love to hear.